how to tell if someone is really bisexual:
- if a true bisexual utters their name backwards, it will send them back to their home dimension for a minimum of 90 days.
- fire type bisexuals will always be able to learn the move solarbeam, unless they are flareon.
- biologically, bisexuals are incapable of going down stairs.
- some bisexuals are unable to cast a shadow, though this is currently up for debate
“I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.”
this quote reads like an excerpt from an 18th century novel and it’s from fucking spongebob
a guy walked into the board room and said
"hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling"
and i just stared at him and coldly said
"i am the regional reports manager"
we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life